Thursday, January 04, 1990

Alas, the cell phone...

I have a cell phone. This makes me sad. Maybe that seems weird. Maybe right now, you're saying, "but Xvi... if you hate the cellphone why dont you throw it away?" or something benign of that sort. But I'll tell you why I keep it anyway: I Freaking need it. Its sad, its terrible but its true. Now, don't get me wrong. I happen to hate almost every form of long distance communication known to man. Email? bane of my existence! Messenger? The antichrist (or whatever concept is similar to the antichrist in my/your religion)! Smoke signals? Tollerable! A friend of mine once told me that if I didn't have cell phones to take out my frustrations on, Id probably rant about yelling-accross-rooms. Maybe its a fear, maybe I'm unwilling to reach out, to love the concept of long distance communication, even though in the back of my mind it makes some sense. None the less. Which is why I have come to hate myself by proxy. It has come to the point that if I have accidentally left my house without my cellphone, I could be 5 minutes or 20 minutes away; I will turn back. As if my cell phone were some poor, distressed child, left home alone crying. In fact, it is I who am the child. Dependant on my cellphone for the mother's milk of communication. What if someone wants to see a movie and I'm not there to pick up the call? What if Ed McMahon has a check for 11 million dollars for me? What if the messiah is on his way and justs needs some quick directions? The fear of what important call I'd miss if I dont have cell phone leaves me feeling naked and vulnerable whenever I don't have that blasted radiation box. Which is why I call upon you, the reader of this blog, to unite with me and our compatriots to rally for the destruction of this bothersome tool. Together we can end our technical reliance on all forms of long distance communication! But first, about that damn Fax...


At 2:36 AM, Blogger Jordie Dude said...

Dam you. Long distance comunication is the future man. without it I wouldn't be able to see or talk to my friends in Japan.
I havn't got $2000 dollars to fly to Japan to say Hi.

I wanna through you of this cool planet to the sun or somethin'.


At 3:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree- i think its time for you and your cellphone to take a little break- maybe slow down your relationship- youll find that you are indeed able to function using your own god given talents- without the crutch that the cellphone provides


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