Saturday, January 06, 1990

Coffee: Physical necessity or abject love?

What can be said about coffee that cant be determined by a single sip? Paragraphs of eloquent prose could be authored here, on any blog or from any author; poetry could be written from the greats, Shelly, Keates, Seuss but to what use? One taste of that steamy goodness, the earlier in the morning the better and you realize how useless language treally is. Anyone who claims that language is the pinnacle of evolution, the benchmark of society, has never had a venti double shot charamel skim latte' with vanilla and two sugars at about 6:30 in the morning while waiting for the train. Coffee makes the bad into good, the wrong into right, and the hippy into an honest republican with visions of reagenomics and shining cities on hills. The evils of the world, the rapes, killings, floods, earthquakes, Kelly Clarksons... they all just fade away in the steam of frothy goodness that coffee produces for those fewethereall moments.

Now about decaf... Decaf is the Hercules of coffees. Sure, he may be big and powerful when compared to mortal teas, but on Mount Olympus, the home of the great coffees, decaf is nothing more then an impostor. A bastard son of coffee and water. No wonder Hera wanted him dead. I apologize for being close-minded about this but it just makes no sense to me. Would you drink non-alcoholic beer? Would you watch a PG version of Reservoir Dogs? Could you buy a Harlequin romance novel with a bald Fabio on the cover? Then how can you remove the caffeinated Yin from coffee's Yang? You leave it broken... incomplete. If even one person reads this blog and decides to accept caffeine back into their lives and hearts, then the effort of writing this would all be worth it!


At 8:42 AM, Blogger Megan said...

That's hysterical. I laughed outloud "Hercules of Coffee". It's so true!

At 3:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you make a good point but some people are adversely affected by caffience- and what are you trying to do to them- tempt them so that they accept caffeine back into their lives and as such develop an ulcer- wow- you are really performing a service for all mankind!

At 6:39 PM, Blogger Aaron said...

The Herculese analogy...

a "bastard son of coffee and water"...

...Sheer brilliance Xviness!!!


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