Tuesday, January 02, 1990

An ode to ketchup:

Call me silly but I just figured that a blog titled "Ketchup Goes On Everything" should begin with a slight homage to that most wonderful of food-stuffs. The problem of course I have in writing such a tribute is the issue of classification. Many refer to Ketchup as a condiment... oh you silly people. Mr. Waiter, when I order a steak and ask for ketchup, please don't roll your eyes at me. I only want the steak to enhance the ketchup goodness. When you, my father, anounce: "have some chicken with your ketchup," I wonder why I should. Do I really need a side-dish? Clearly then ketchup is not a condiment but an entree, but of what variety? Is it a salad? Maybe, as it consists primarily of vegetable product. Is it a soup? After all, its great out of the bowl, eaten with a large spoon. Maybe its a dessert? Lord knows its delicious enough! Or perhaps its just a beverage. It can be slurped from a cup with ice on the summer days, or microwaved in a Mug for the bitter winter afternoons. I remember coming home as a kid, after swiveling the walk, and my mom would have a steaming mug of hot ketchup waiting for me. Alas, to relive childhood. Clearly the it does not fall into an umbrella category but is a category all its own. Much like the Norse Mead or the Greek Ambrosia, the Heinz Ketchup is a food of its own variety, able to sustain a bodies needs all alone. Truly there is no greater food-of-the-gods then the Great Red.

A poem:

Ketchup is red,
for a while it was blue(or purple or something),
I love Ketchup,
and so should you! (your not a communist are you?)

- XVI -


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