Friday, January 19, 1990

So let me get something straight...

Everyone is always biatching about the cold. Everyone is always saying, "man, the winter is so frigid, I wish it were warmer." everyone is always going away on winter vacation, to somewhere nice and sunny. Everyone always says its so nice in California, or Bermuda or wherever. But all those same people are complaining about global warming...

Now don't get me wrong, Ill miss the polish ice caps as much as anyone else. I'm sure they are very scenic and bring in tons of tourist money to Poland's suffering economy, but cant we sacrifice one stinking eastern-European nation to make everywhere just a wee bit warmer? As it is, all we are apparently getting out of all this warming is a one-degree raise. So we go from 43 to 44... Big whoop. And for this people are complaining? C'mon folks, if we wanna get NY up to the 70's in mid-winter, were gonna have to buy a LOT more SUVs then we have. Quite frankly I'm sick of all you bleeding-heart liberals (I've always wanted to say "bleeding-heart liberals in a blog :-) ) whining about environment this and children that. The way I figure, get moderate zones real tropical-like, and go to cool places in the summer. Alaska will be the awesomest vacation spot ever during the killer summers as their outdoor temp will only hit a maximum of mid-80's.

The point is, we gotta get rid of that stupid ozone layer. All it ever does is release our hard-earned UV rays that we work so hard to accumulate. Its ruining our tanning opportunities too. You have to work extra hard to get that healthy leathery brown, if you have more ozone. And more time on the beach, means less time driving SUV's.

Here are my recommendations. We reinstate CFC's in aerosol cans and the like and promote the burning of mass amounts of Styrofoam and the sort. This will destroy the ozone at a much faster rate, thus maximizing the effect of ultraviolet rays and greenhouse gases. To accumulate more of these gases, we ban the creation of yuppie, hybrid cars and ban all forms of fuel-conservation. Then, we sell Saudi Arabia to Halliburton, replace the bald eagle with the Hummer as America's national symbol and kill all democrats (that last one is just for sport). Within 10 years, with your help, Green Bay could be a beach city!

Help us, will you?


At 7:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

its so nice to see some young'uns who are out there trying to help this cold-cold world get a little bit warmer! you keep on doing what your are doing. you are an inspiration to all of us passive freezing people who decide to leave the hard work to suv drivers like you and instead pick up and leave to some already warm locale.

At 11:36 PM, Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

I know this is totally unrelated, but I think it's funny because it has to do with your url.

Someone wanted me to be his sex slave by promising that he would provide me with endless ketchup and ice cream because he knows I love both of them. Yeah, and not only does he not even read your blog--he doesn't even read mine! Isn't that crazy? Ice cream and ketchup...

At 8:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey was just rolling thru wanted to let ya know ya got a cool blog here Nice Job.


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