Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I've been a pretty good student, I would say... I always do my work, I'm an A student if not occasionally A-, and I always seem to know exactly how much time I need to get something done. I've taken and done well on physicses and Organic chemistries 1 & 2, come out on top after 18 credit semesters and taken a freaking MCAT, so why am I having so much difficulty with a 12 credit semester that has no science? I've got a theory.

Call me maniacal, but I dont think I'm capable of taking it easy. It becomes all invasive. I give a finger, it bites me off at the elbow.

Here's an example of what my day would have been like before the summer...

3:15 AM: go to sleep

8:00 AM: first alarm goes off behind my bed. I slam the snooze button.

8:02 AM: Second alarm goes off on my phone accross the room. Get up, cross room, turn off phone, cross room again, get in bed, sleep.

8:03 AM: Third alarm goes off on phone accross the room. Get up, turn off alarm, take phone back to bed, fall asleep with phone in hand.

8:05 AM: Final phone alarm about to go off. Detect buzzing and turn it off before it even makes a sound. Continue sleeping.

8:05 AM continued: Alarm behind bed goes off again. Chuck it accross room. Sleep.

8:15 AM: Wake up ultra-panicky. Realize I overslept. Fly out of bed, into shower.

8:35 AM: get to shacharis late. Not to bad. G-D forgives me (?)

8:53 AM: Leave shacharis after ashrei-oovah l'tzion.

8:56 AM: get home, eat 1 bowl Raisin Bran Crunch (extra milk cuz its yummy at the end), wash face, comb hair, pack bag, watch 3 minutes of lousy morning movie on comedy central starring Judge Reinhold.

9:15 AM: Leave house, drive to college (15 minute walk away) look for parking.

9:50 AM: Find parking, run the 3 blocks from parking spot to school, get coffee from DirtyWater CoffeeMan outside of the gates. Run to class.

9:54 AM: sneak into lecture that began at 9:25.

10:40 AM: lecture ends. go to LaGuardia to look over notes, revise. read textbook for upcoming lecture.

11:40 AM: gonna put my head down... for... just... one... seco................

12:18 PM: wake up, wipe drool from face and run to 12:15 class. Teacher hasnt come yet. get laughed at for red spot on forehead.

1:30 PM: class lets out. go to cafeteria. daven Mincha. get lunch.

2:00 PM: go to recitation. physics/orgo (depends on the day) professor no speaka good engrish. bored. make origami frogs out of the little 8 X 5 papers from my punsy notebook.

2:45 PM: go to lab. get confused. break something. get a new one. repeat.

5:15 PM: leave lab half asleep. go to cafeteria. talk to jews. get a cranberry muffin and a diet sierra mist. breathe a little.

6:10 PM: go to evening psych class. flirt with married jewish girls (93% of the psych majors). correct professor a few times. learn about some new disorder I am sure I have.

8:20-8:40 PM: get out, go home. eat dinner. watch some South Park.

9:15 PM: maariv

9:30 PM: turn on computer. ignore people on AIM. space out for a few minutes.

9:45 PM: study chemistry/physics/orgo for about an hour. fix up lab report. read unassigned chapters in the psych book. Write essay for various english-based class.

11:30 PM: get on elyptical trainer. watch futurama on [ADULT SWIM].

12:00 AM: 45 second shower.

12:00:45 AM: talk to friends online/phone. check emails. surf for random craziness from stumbleupon.com

12:45 AM: Read newspaper.

1:00 AM: Read recreationaly, listen to music, drink tea, get mellow.

2:00 AM: watch same episode of futurama as was on at 11:30 PM

2:30 AM: watch family guy

3:00 AM: set various alarms. lay out clothes for the morning rush. get in bed. read book til I pass out. See top of page.

As you can see, the day is ordered. I know when I'm doing, what Ive got to be doing and how much time I have to do it. I may not be Mr. Organized, but I get the job done. Not too much wasted time. Not too much down time. Not too much sleep time.

Then it happened: I took the MCAT.

I wont detail the summer and how I killed myself for the hours and hours of studying a day, but suffice it to say, I was a different man. When I finished that test I vowed to never work hard again, and it seems to have happened.

Firstly, Im not taking any sciences this semester. Secondly, Im only taking 12 credits. Thirdly, Im not working. So thats three strikes. Younb think Id be able to get my work done in a timely manner, be worry-free and have plenty of Xvi time. Guess again. Ive never been so depressed about school in my life and Ive never struggled through a semester nearly as badly as this one. Allow me to demonstrate a typical day this semester.

4:oo-5:00 AM: get to sleep.

sometime between 9:00 and 11:00 AM: wake up grumbly, tired, pissed. Shower, shacharis, etc...

9:30 - 11:30 AM: Get to college. go to library. start/complete whatever is due in 20 minutes.

11:50 AM: go to cafeteria. get cappuccino. read college paper.

12:20 PM: go to 12:15 class. hand in paper. leave early.


1:00 - 3:00 PM: hang out in cafeteria/hillel. mincha. do nothing. talk to Harek or Greeny or Mordy or Shil or TipsyIpsy or Zeebs or Dovi or Josh or Ezra or assorted other jews.

3:00 PM: Leave college.

3:15 PM: get to yeshiva 15 minutes late.

4:45 PM: leave yeshiva 15 minutes early. walk back to college.

5:00 PM: go back to cafeteria. get another cappucino. shmooze more with motley crew mentioned above plus others.

6:15 PM: attend evening lecture.

7:30 PM: skip out early. go home.

7:45 PM: eat dinner. watch game show network/random TV.

9:15 PM: maariv

9:30 PM: turn on computer. almost start 5 page paper but talk to someone online instead.

10:00 PM: almost start paper. read Dina's blog instead. laugh at Moshiak. comment.

10:10 PM: almost start paper. make phone call.

10:40 PM: start paper. work for 15 minutes.

10:55 PM: stop working. make tea. watch Futurama/Family Guy/ Harvey Birdman.

12:30 AM: almost resume work on paper. check out facebook. make a new group.

12:50 AM: almost resume paper. play two tournaments of poker with play chips instead.

1:15 AM: almost resume paper. go to greeny's house instead. say hi. come home.

1:40 AM: resume paper. do half-assed work while playing nanaca crash and watching badger badger badger videos.

2:00 AM: stop working. blog about how I cant get any work done, or how I am out of rants...

2:30 AM: freak out about having done about 45 minutes of schoolwork all day. push off applications/emails/parking tix payment til tomorow. do another 10 minutes work.

2:42 AM: decide youll finish this tomorow also. watch the Colbert report. smirk at his snarky, tongue-in-cheek humor.

3:00 AM: check facebook and/or play poker and/or other online activities.

3:30 AM: read book in bed.

4:00 - 5:00 AM: fall asleep, pissed and depressed about having done nothing all day.


Maybe that sounds weird to you, but its been a lousy semester of doing nothing during the week and going on poorly-planned shidduch dates on the weekend. Hate me all you want but Im kind of looking forward to a 15 credit semester with crazy sciences and long study hours. Im looking forward to going to work and making some money. I need a vacation from this nothingness.

5 Comments:

At 8:51 AM, Blogger Dindel said...

Nothingness has a way of getting to you.

Its like winter. its there just to piss you off. but it can be a good thing. Snow fights.... need i say more.
Some times I cant decide if I should embrace it or not. I dont even have bad shidduch dates. so you one upped me. :)

 
At 11:22 AM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Just wanted to comment on your explaination of the difference between goy and gentile. Thank you for the clarification, and enlightment.

I always heard my grandparents refer to non-Jews as goy or the goyim. Shiksa, may in fact be a horse of a different color, and have more of a derrogatory connotation.

I hope YY takes reads your comment.

 
At 12:56 PM, Blogger Eshet Chayil said...

Man...And I thought I had it bad. Although I have to commute an hour and 15 to school everyday from brooklyn, at least I get the work done on the train. But since i have to get up so early it makes me dead on my feet by the time I get home from work about 11 at night. But I think you should ditch the tv...Maybe you'll get more done.

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger R.J. said...

Your problem is in your major, psychology: an excuse for why several people sometimes might behave in possible ways. Science is awesome because you're working with real absolutes. Psychology is all abstract and annoying. You experience dissonance because you don't believe in what you learn, and this sucks out the drive to succeed. Also, you know that since med school applications are out, your current semester performance almost seems trivial to admissions so u find no reason to actually perform.

-Zev W.

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger XVI (R) - NY said...

Au contraire, mon amie RJ! I believe in psychology in much the same way I accept the sciences. I dont look at its current inability to be proven as an absolute disproof of its nature. I couldnt major in it otherwise. bI think my discontent roots elseweher then college studies and Im trying hard to root it personally.

chuzpanit: good luck, because as interesting as you try to make yourself and as fun as you can be some people can just drain the life out a person a conversation or a room. hope all your dates go well and your guy is found soon.

and eshet chayil I know full well that i gotta stop it with the tv, but i dont watch like most people watch. Most people watch tv for some variety of story. They want to follow a plot of a sitcom or soap opera. they know the characters and they feel for them. it may be a waste but its almost productive. to me, TV is like drug use. it just helps me temporarily escape actuality by immersing myself in something that isnt real. I can zone out of existence while watching and not be me. I can not exist except as laughter or compassion. that is my tv experience.

 

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